Why do I feel an affinity for this song right now? Why do I feel that it speaks to the state of my soul?
(This version of O Elbereth Gilthoniel is not exactly the same as Tolkien's original, but pretty close in spirit. This is the movie version, which I like no less for that.)
Tolkien's elves themselves are but a broken reflection of the elves of European mythology: the elves that got diffracted by pagans and Christians until they were only a shadow. The "original elves" weren't even elves, their elfhood was retroactively placed upon them in the process of their being wiped out. They were the Tuatha de Danann, the original folk of Ireland who were displaced by invaders from Continental Europe.
You may see a pattern here. Some millennia in the future, perhaps some retroactive elfhood will be placed upon the Native Americans as they existed before the blessings of Western Civilization were forced upon them. They went into the Earth too, not metaphorically. The Tuatha de Danann, the legendary people who were retroactively made elves, in myth were given the lands underneath the Earth as part of a crooked deal with the invading Milesians. The invaders got the land above the earth, the Tuatha de Danann were given the land underneath the barrows, the mounds that enshrine the remains of the dead. Which is probably just a nice way of saying they were betrayed and killed.
Tolkien's elves are immortal, but they are compelled to go into the West: to leave Middle Earth. The West has been the metaphorical direction of the Afterlife for many cultures - the Elysium of the Greeks was originally thought to be just a place in the real world that was so far west it was impossible to sail there, where heroes went when they died. Over time Elysium became a place in the Underworld. Tolkien's elves are compelled to leave Middle Earth because essentially an age of Darkness has descended on it (the Age of Man) and their time there has gone. They either have to go into the West or stop being elves. There was some intimation on Tolkien's part that if they did not leave, they would become shadows of sorts: barely visible, secretive, not unlike what some Icelanders think of elves today. The Hidden People.
(This version of O Elbereth Gilthoniel is not exactly the same as Tolkien's original, but pretty close in spirit. This is the movie version, which I like no less for that.)
Tolkien's elves themselves are but a broken reflection of the elves of European mythology: the elves that got diffracted by pagans and Christians until they were only a shadow. The "original elves" weren't even elves, their elfhood was retroactively placed upon them in the process of their being wiped out. They were the Tuatha de Danann, the original folk of Ireland who were displaced by invaders from Continental Europe.
You may see a pattern here. Some millennia in the future, perhaps some retroactive elfhood will be placed upon the Native Americans as they existed before the blessings of Western Civilization were forced upon them. They went into the Earth too, not metaphorically. The Tuatha de Danann, the legendary people who were retroactively made elves, in myth were given the lands underneath the Earth as part of a crooked deal with the invading Milesians. The invaders got the land above the earth, the Tuatha de Danann were given the land underneath the barrows, the mounds that enshrine the remains of the dead. Which is probably just a nice way of saying they were betrayed and killed.
Tolkien's elves are immortal, but they are compelled to go into the West: to leave Middle Earth. The West has been the metaphorical direction of the Afterlife for many cultures - the Elysium of the Greeks was originally thought to be just a place in the real world that was so far west it was impossible to sail there, where heroes went when they died. Over time Elysium became a place in the Underworld. Tolkien's elves are compelled to leave Middle Earth because essentially an age of Darkness has descended on it (the Age of Man) and their time there has gone. They either have to go into the West or stop being elves. There was some intimation on Tolkien's part that if they did not leave, they would become shadows of sorts: barely visible, secretive, not unlike what some Icelanders think of elves today. The Hidden People.
I am about to say something contradictory:
that there never were any "historical elves" and that
paradoxically I feel a deep spiritual connection with them.
Elves were never precisely some stray branch on the tree of Homo Sapiens that got wiped out in prehistory. They are, if you will, members of an archetype of Edenic humanity: of a humanity that has never severed its connection with the World. As such, they may instantiate to some degree in real people or real peoples but never completely. They exist in the Dreaming. The guys in Iceland who see elves or their effects, if they are truly seeing elves, are not seeing them with mundane eyes. They are seeing them in the Dreaming. Thus I can say I feel a spiritual lineage to the elves myself, and not say that they are historical in any normal sense. The story of the Tuatha de Danann may indeed be a story of a more "edenic" culture being wiped out by a more "advanced" culture - the Milesians were Greeks according to some interpretations, and so even then the "advanced" label would certainly apply. Theirs was the cradle of the scorpion which is now worldwide: Western Civilization. Western Civ has been putting "less advanced" people into the barrows ever since.
All of this is roundabout to my main message really, but you have to understand it to understand what I say next. I too am going "into the West." I am going to Elysium, the Elysium of my visions, not the Greek one. That is why the song resonates with me.
No, don't worry, I am not going today probably. I am working on my health in fact, exercising more than probably ever, I even joined Nicotine Anonymous to quit smoking and hope to quit soon. But I am 56, will be 57 in a month. As I work on all this, I wonder, what is the point really? To live a bit longer in a world that makes me profoundly sad? To live a bit longer in a world that is going to continue to make me even more sad every day, as it spirals away from anything that could remotely be called sanity? This too was a peril that Tolkien's elves lived with: profound sadness. To live to see the destruction of everything I love? To live to witness yet more tragedies as greed devours the Earth? Why?
I cannot change this Age of Darkness, any more than Tolkien's elves could keep the Age of Man from coming. Am I only presiding over my own diminishment, like Tolkien's fading elves who resist the call to the West? Indeed I already diminish, despite my relative health, as does the Earth I love. Why ought I stick around for all that? I am looking for reasons.
It is not that anyone reads or at least understands my words, I cannot hope to change hearts and even if I did, for what? That they may suffer as I do? That their eyes may open to the horror? Should I not indeed wish that their eyes remain closed and go like peaceful lambs to the slaughter? I suppose I write these blog posts not to open eyes that are closed but to comfort eyes that are open, but there seem few of those. Who am I leaving this testament, this my entire blog, for? God forbid that some as yet young or unborn should be "gifted" in the same way as I am, that they can be even more a creature out of place than I am. So that they can sorrow even more than I do.
No, don't worry, I am not going today probably. I am working on my health in fact, exercising more than probably ever, I even joined Nicotine Anonymous to quit smoking and hope to quit soon. But I am 56, will be 57 in a month. As I work on all this, I wonder, what is the point really? To live a bit longer in a world that makes me profoundly sad? To live a bit longer in a world that is going to continue to make me even more sad every day, as it spirals away from anything that could remotely be called sanity? This too was a peril that Tolkien's elves lived with: profound sadness. To live to see the destruction of everything I love? To live to witness yet more tragedies as greed devours the Earth? Why?
I cannot change this Age of Darkness, any more than Tolkien's elves could keep the Age of Man from coming. Am I only presiding over my own diminishment, like Tolkien's fading elves who resist the call to the West? Indeed I already diminish, despite my relative health, as does the Earth I love. Why ought I stick around for all that? I am looking for reasons.
It is not that anyone reads or at least understands my words, I cannot hope to change hearts and even if I did, for what? That they may suffer as I do? That their eyes may open to the horror? Should I not indeed wish that their eyes remain closed and go like peaceful lambs to the slaughter? I suppose I write these blog posts not to open eyes that are closed but to comfort eyes that are open, but there seem few of those. Who am I leaving this testament, this my entire blog, for? God forbid that some as yet young or unborn should be "gifted" in the same way as I am, that they can be even more a creature out of place than I am. So that they can sorrow even more than I do.
This is a question I will put to my "people", my fathers and mothers, over coming days because only they can answer it. I have a powerful resistance to the idea of self-slaughter, which is probably the only reason why I am still alive, but that's not the question. I am not questioning whether or not I should kill myself. The question is why should I be alive?
Am I just going through the motions like dumb cattle because I don't know anything better to do? These things I know: that my mind and strength will diminish, that the destruction of the planet I love cannot be reversed, that the ignorance of the masses cannot be cured, that I will find few or no kindred spirits on this Earth to share my suffering at this point. Given these truths, why do I live?
I will be asking these questions to those who can tell me over coming days and months. Perhaps there is indeed an answer.
I will be asking these questions to those who can tell me over coming days and months. Perhaps there is indeed an answer.
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